Dear Lebron, First let me say that I am a Witness. Your play last night was not human. You were 20-30 from the field and that simply doesn't happen in the NBA. You were even able to add eight assists, six boards, three blocks and two steals while only committing two turnovers. Those numbers are even more impressive considering your teammates were of little to no help to you last night and your coach decided to use the NBA2K9 playbook offense: GIVE THE BALL TO LEBRON AND EVERYONE GET THE HELL OUT OF THE WAY. I understand it is hard playing 1 on 5 and I understand it is hard playing for a coach who if you mention the triangle or motion offense looks at you like you are talking quantum physics. So when I tell you this has nothing to do with your game on the court I mean it. Physically LB you are the best player in the league and if you get your ring you will end all debate who is the best player in the league period. With that being said it is time for someone to tell you what everyone has been whispering behind your back:
Your friends won't tell you, the media won't tell you and the Cavs organization definitely won't tell you, but I will because I want you to be the best player you can be. You have a horrible of habit of overreacting on the court. If the wind blows the wrong way you are rolling around on the ground. If you slightly tweak your ankle you are screaming in agony. If your headband gets a little loose you are checking for blood like you are in the WWE. You once ran over a ref who was twenty years older than you and a hundred fifty pounds lighter than you. The ref popped right back up you stayed down for fifteen minutes. Doesn't that seem odd to you Lebron? Does it seem odd to you Lebron after you have one of your episodes that twenty seconds later after being hurt you are throwing down a dunk? When you flopped last night to get an offensive foul even though the guy barely even touched you, instead of getting up and acknowledging your flop like a man you rolled around as if you were going to go into cardiac arrest. Even though you had eight days off you forced your team to call a timeout in a tight game in the 4th quarter because you were tired. Seriously Lebron because you were tired? After the game you were put down on the floor for several minutes because of a cramp. A cramp put you down not for a few seconds, but for more than ten minutes. JR Smith twisted his knee but was able to get back to the locker room faster than you. When people are saying JR Smith has more heart than you that is an issue. The player you are compared against daily Kobe Bryant is hated by many people for many things, but no one questions his toughness. His knuckle popped out during game 1 of the Western Conference do you know what he did LB? He didn't call a timeout, he didn't fall on the floor and he didn't act like he was trying to win an Oscar. He popped it back into place himself and nailed a jumper on the next possession. That is what people expect of you Lebron not the drama queen stuff. I don't care if you are hurt or not you never give the opponent the opportunity to think you are a weak. Before I go LB let me tell you a story. There is this female that I know. She is quite possibly the most attractive female I have ever met. She just ooooozes sex appeal. I have absolutely no will power when it comes to her. If she wanted me to rob a bank I would probably do it. She has 100% control over me and everyone knows it except one person. You know who that person is Lebron?
You never show weakness ever!!! If you let your enemy see blood they are going to go for more blood. Man up Lebron, stop acting like Paris Hilton when she breaks a nail. I am telling you this for your own good because no one else will. Signed, Bona Fide Sports Expert Robert Littal