(For enertainment purposes only)
If you've gone broke and have no money
Quick Legal ways to get cash:
Scrap Metal--Big money to be made off of copper, brass, platnium, car batteries(lead), aluminum, or short iron(if you know where abunant amounts are).....which can easily be found in wires, pipe, cadilac converters, ect.....Abandoned houses could be a gold mine, or where a storm recently knocked a powerline down at.... check on local state laws before scrapping
Handy Man/Yard work--get out there and sweat it out cutting grass, landscaping, tree cutting(bigmoney, but you'll get your ass in trouble if you're not liscened and bonded), construction projects, ect...
Diaster relief projects--Just find where a disaster hit & go there and you can make some dough through hard work during the cleanup
Hunting & Killing--Plenty of troublesome animals that have bouties on thier head...Once upon a time, i was getting $45 a Beaver.....plenty of money to be made if you are in the right area...
Beg--Plenty of homeless & nonhomeless people make money everyday begging....get a piece of cardboard and write you a message & strategically place your self in highly trafficed area...one of the best signs i ever saw that even made me throw a doller read "I'm not going to lie, i need a beer"
Pawn Shop--Plenty of stuff to be pawned, but i doubt you'll get what your items are worth...
Sperm/Blood Banks--never been to or seen one, but i hear they'll give you money for both....
Sell your Kidney-- You've got two of em & somebody will pay
Find a SugarMomma--Plenty of Women that will spoil their boy toys & give whatever they ask for...
Be a Snitch-- They pay big money for information that leads to the arrest, but Snitchs beware...you cant run forever...
Borrow a $100 & put it on a 30-1 Long shot at a horse race.....
BE A TOUT- "I've got one Gignoroums play that i"ve personally bet Fifty Thousand on today & you can win with me for the low price of $1000, but since you seem like such a nice guy i'm only going to charge you half of that! I've got the inside scoop & this is a cant lose play because the game is fixed and i know who will win...."
Quick Illegal ways to get cash:
Rob a drug dealer for all his dope & money....remember to wear a mask & to smack em across the face with gun ASAP so they know you aint playin...this job is not for the faint of a heart & should only be attempted by anyone ready to shoot first and ask questions later....
Run a Scam opperation: Tons of these to run, but in the time of a emeregencey, simply get out at a four way stop and stop traffic and tell people you are taking up money for the O'Neal family who's house just burnt down, ect., ect., or any other damn story you come up with(somebody in a car crash, cancer treatment,ect.)....people run this game all the time, dont fall for this bull shit.......I really think this about the lowest crime on the list....
Blackmail/Extortion--Plenty of people that will pay big money to not be exposed for some dirt you have on em...my favorite operation i've heard of i read in John Grisham book, where these guys were putting ads in a newspaper posing as a gay guy looking for a pen pal....They would research the people who responded and if they had any wealth and a normally family (Closet Phags) they'd blackmail em or else expose their gay secret to their friends & family!
Go Shrooming--Actually getting late in the year for it, but goto a area with a lot of cows that are preferably grain fed & check the shaded areas late in the evening on days where the humidity is above 80%...Widespread Panic & other hippy type folk will pay big money for the magic mushroom, but will probally just want to trade out for other dope, which you in turn, can turn around and sale....
Cook a batch of meth--if you're broke you might have a hard time gathering all the supplies needed, or because of new state laws that have taken several key ingriedents off the shelf, but where there is a will there is a way.....so if you're broke you'll need to steal psuedophed, lithium batteries, anhydrous ammonia (or a bag of ammonia & red devil lye), pure ether, liquid fire (or tinfoil & muratic acid), rock salt, & a pump up sprayer......please be advised that a Meth Manufacturing Charge carries a 60 year charge in the state of Ms. depending upon the method & scale of the project, the project could take 30 minutes to several hours to complete.......one batch of dope that cost $200 to produce could yeild $6000 to $10,000 Profit....(plenty of other drugs to make, but their processes take much longer, such as LSD)
Steal a Car--A parked car with the keys already in it is a the perfect scenario, check nice residential areas for such a perfect scenario, but beware nosey neighbors & mean dogs......Make sure you have legit chopshop to take the car to before the car is boosted....
Sell Fake Drugs--Be Careful b/c a true junkie will spot the dummy drug in a minute....find pills, sweet tarts, ect. that resemble Ectasy, Acid, Xanax, Valium, and head to the club to run your game....best not to work the area to long before you are exposed.......Dry wall or Hydrated lime can be passed off for Cocaine & Soap or Penuts for Crack, but you better vacate the area quickly once the exchange takes place....
Money Order Scam--actually a scam that was ran out of Parchment Correctional facility from the mid to late eighties, where prisoners were taking $5 & $10 money orders and converting them to $100 & $500 to $1000 to $5000 dollar money orders.......when the scam got busted a whole building of convicts and guards went down, including one guy that got busted with over $400,000 cash in his cell....
Put the Girls to work/stripping--Let em do private shows for money and provide security, of course Gator's bitchez better be using jimmies....you're job is to provide transportation & security for the girls....
Have a wreck--- Get in your car and get onto the interstate...get in front of a 18wheeler and slam on your brakes and let him hit you...if you're still alive, tell em your suing em b/c the driver obviously fell asleep at the wheel....they will settle out of court real quick....
Let a car hit you---check state laws, b/c in New Orleans, it is actually a crime for a person to get hit by a car.....but money to be made through ambulance chasers.....
Plenty of other illegeal shit to do, but i would strongly advise to all to not break the law because you can't buy that time back that they take away from you....Shit just aint worth it.........Best way to get your money back is through hard work & clean living! Remember the Turtle won the Race & Rome was not built in a day!