If you want to win money, take the opposite approach like George Costanza and fade "The Mush."
I'm a huge Seinfeld fan to the point where 40 percent of my spoken language comes from Seinfeld episodes (The other 60 percent comes from movie lines). One of my favorite Seinfeld episodes ever is when George Costanza does the opposite of everything he normally does because every decision he's ever made has been wrong. As Jerry said, "If every decision you've ever made has been wrong, then the opposite would have to be right."
I have this friend who has been gambling for 20 years and I think he's collected twice in his whole life. Luckily, he offers other services that provide a steady income. I won't get into specifics but let's just say he doesn't fill out a tax return at the end of the year. This guy is such a pear-shaped loser, that he's become known as "The Mush" to those of us who know him best. You want to see square. The only time this guy bets an underdog is when it's one of those obvious underdogs like the Cowboys getting two-points at Philly or something like that. People often ask me, "How do you win at sports gambling." While I never give them this answer, the obvious response is "Fade The Mush." The funny thing is, this guy actually thinks he's a good gambler. I once asked him, "When is the last time you collected?" His response was, "I collect all the time. You are the jinx. Every time I tell you my plays, I lose."
So I called The Mush this week and he's agreed to give me all of his plays this NFL season so I can track them. I got to thinking and I figured, why not share these losers with the Pregame community? So every week I will call The Mush on Thursday and ask him his plays, then post them here. Like I said, this guy is a born loser.
Last week The Mush went 2-2 on his plays. Think about that. The public won last week and The Mush still managed to find a way not to make a profit. What a pear-shaped loser. Here are The Mush's Week 2 selections with a bonus CFB play to boot. Remember, our play is the FADE after the write-up. Don't get caught taking this loser's picks by mistake.
USC -10.5Despite this line being a bit high, The Mush is prepared to pound the Trojans on Saturday. Just an FYI: The Mush knows nothing about college football yet bets it like he's some kind of expert. According to The Mush, "This is my college football Game of the Year (He'll have about 20 of those this year). Ohio State got killed by Florida and LSU. It's going to be worse this time. Pound this one." No wonder I'm liking the Buckeyes more and more as we get closer to Saturday.Fade The Mush: Ohio State +10.5
Colts -2 (Best Bet)To make things easier on myself, I write down The Mush's picks before I even call him. I had this one singled out as his best bet and the first thing he says when I call him is, "Colts big." If you remember, last week Mush used the ridiculous handicapping strategy of saying it was Peyton Manning against Kyle Orton. So what do you think his reasoning is this week? You guessed it. "That guy for the Vikings sucks (I took this to mean that he has no idea who Tarvaris Jackson is). Manning won't play bad again and no way the Colts start the year 0-2. No way. Colts win big Sunday." That's good news for Hellerud and the rest of you Minnesota fans.Fade The Mush: Vikings +2
Giants -8.5I would have bet my life that The Mush would take the Giants in this spot. I'm not saying the Rams are going to cover but I know The Mush. When I see that 71 percent of the public is on one side, I know who's leading the charge. I can't make a strong argument for the Rams other than this: "Where is this game being played? On the road. Advantage Giants. Who is the better team? New York by far. Advantage Giants. This is like stealing. I already marked it down as a win." Yea Mush, because that always works.
Fade The Mush: Rams +8.5
Chargers -1The Mush really believes in the "This team can't go 0-2 theory." I wonder how much money he's lost over the years using that one. I've lost count personally. Amazingly, The Mush is in the minority here for one of the few times ever, as 53 percent of the money is coming in on the Broncos. I would give you Mush's reasoning for this game but it really is that the Chargers won't start the season 0-2. Are you guys starting to see why this loser never wins?
Fade The Mush: Broncos +1
Packers -3Another game I already had written down before I even dialed the number. This is a Mush specialty folks. One team looks good on MNF, while the other looks terrible in the same week. Then the team that looked terrible is only a slight home dog the following week. If The Mush gave out betting tips, this one would be first on his list. Close to 90 percent of the public is on The Mush's side here, which raises a huge red flag for me. So does this: "The Lions lost to the Falcons. How are they going to beat the Packers?" Thank God Mush has that other "business" going for him.
Fade The Mush: Lions +3
Mush's Yearly Record: 2-2Best Bets: 1-0
Great week for The Mush. I know because he's text me 50 times to tell me about it. Of course the loser had to jinx himself in the Broncos game by texting me "5-0 baby!" after SD scored. Knowing The Mush like I do, I would say next week is a huge fade week. He will give every penny back and then-some. I'm not saying he's getting overconfident but when I talked to him earlier, he said, "I may start charging you for my plays."
mush = 4-0 .. wow
I'm like the wind baby. Can't hide from me.
I couldn't agree more about USC. Best team in the country. Keyshawn said on the Herd today that the Wells injury gives them an excuse if he plays or doesn't play. Love the Trojans.
I don't agree with the Mushes giants play. 8.5?? The giants may have been road warriors last year played some close games on the road last year.
Thanks Mush. I do like Detroit on Monday.
TOMMY,DONT FADE AWAY.USC AND GB BOTH COVER!
That's him to a tee Joe. USC may be too strong for even The Mush to jinx though. Good luck.
Tom, he sounds like these guys that used to hang around a bar I'd call on MNF. I always made $ when I went the other way.
Joe, He wins GAMES but he won't win for the year. it's early so he still has a chance. But once we get into October, he'll be like a human ATM machine. Good luck. And Swami, you sound awful familiar. Do I know you?
Tom, does this guy ever win? I bet USC; I hope he wins this one!
No no no. The mush has it all wrong. The mush play this week is the Jets. Big. 1st time starter. Yes 1st timers went 3-1 last week but that trend won't continue. I recall when brady started his first game, the Colts were the Mush Play of the week. Infact, i was quoted as saying "who the f is tom brady? Everyone knows that Drew Henson was the better QB at michigan. No way he can beat the 2-0 colts." 44-13 pats. $200 loss, even worse weekend and on my way to a payment plan by week 4.
That being said and me being a true loser, i love the jets and Jet Farve this week. BIG.
Thanks Anzio. I'll keep posting them every week and we'll see what happens. Good luck.
This post is my favorite so far of all the ones ive read. Keep them coming.
I'm on USC too....haha....but I will be on Det +........