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  • Created On:
    09/07/2011 9:56 PM
  • Last Update:
    01/17/2019 7:25 AM

NEW FLASH: Rob Crowne Saves U.S.

Can Sports Bettors REALLY Be That Stupid?
This past weekend, sports tout extraordinaire, mentor of Brandon Lang, and subject of the movie "Two For the Money," Stu Feiner, announced on his compline that Vice President Joe Biden telephoned Stu personally to complain about Stu's failure to give Barack Obama the proper respect.  Feiner, while denying that he had ever made the scurrilous comments attributed to him, claimed that he was told by Biden that Obama had personally cancelled the invitation Stu's son had received to participate in the White House Easter Egg hunt next month.

That was it.  No sales pitch.  No complimentary selection.  Although Stu did send everybody to his website, where he pitches profusely and does inexplicable things in videos like weigh his own incredibly fat stomach on a scale.  I am not quite sure why any of this attracts sports bettors, but it is good to know that despite the demise of Score, you can still get find something in this industry that is so outrageous it's hysterical 

Not to be outdone, however, I would like Stu to know that I, Rob Crowne got a personal phone call from Sarah Palin this past Friday.  She said that she would be down in New York this weekend, and that she would dearly love to get down in New York while she was down in New York.  She wanted to know if I'd be available.  It seems her hubby has been spending a bit too much time with his snowmobile, and Sarah is afraid her daughter will be getting ahead of her in the baby department.  I respectfully, declined.  Besides, I was busy saving the country.

Don't believe me?  Read the following endorsement from none other than our great President, Barack Obama.

Dear Rob,
I can't express enough the gratitude I feel for all your efforts in helping to get our country out of the fiscal crisis it was in.  

As you know, when I took over the Oval Office in January, I inherited an $11 trillion deficit.  I was in deep despair.  I needed another $2 trillion to give to the banks, the insurance companies, the auto makers, and those who bought more house than they could afford.  Then there was all that money for pork projects in all those States with Democratic Congressman (and there are alot of those lately). .  I had no idea where the money would come from, and how I would ever get the country out of debt.

I had used a sports service upin Boston, called "Score," when I needed money in the past, but when I called them their number had been disconnected.  I sent the FBI up to Bston to locate them, but they were harder to find than Osama. 

Then Hillary Clinton said, "Why don't you try Rob Crowne.  He's from what I pretend is my home state,  New York.  Sarah Palin swears by him."  Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke overheard Hillary.  He said,  "I've  used Rob Crowne.  He'll definitely have the country out of debt in a flash."

How right Ben was.  I called you last January, and since then your selections have made the country enough to cover all its expenses and even pay down a trillion of debt.

The Wall Street Syndicate has been nothing short of spectacular in the Tournaments.  The Secretary of the Treasury laughed all the way to the Federal Reserve Bank when they kept their perfect undefeated streak alive in the Tournaments with that easy 30-point cover on North Carolina to go under the total of 164. "Imagine," Timmy Geithner told the press, "we bail out Wall Street, and then the Wall Street Bankers bail us out."

I don't know how you get their picks and all your other information.  Even my spies can't get advanced information on what the Wall Street boys are playing without calling you.

Rob, the country thanks you from the bottom of all our collective hearts.  Feel free to use me, and this letter, as a reference.  I'll definitely recommend you at the upcoming G-20 meeting.                                              Sincerely,
                                               Barry Obama

I'm having the letter framed to hang on my wall.  Take that Stu Feiner!  

To those of you who want to the sports service that is so good it saved the country, you can get the same tournament selection being bet by Pres. Barry tonight by CLICKING HERE.   There is also a free pick in the body of the package. 

A professional sports bettor and card player for 24 years, Rob is known as being as an expert handicapper and bettor, as well as one of the few sources for picks of the professional sports betting groups... Read more

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