It was a wonderful day for the O'Shea's, O'Lucks and even Bill O'Reillys of the world yesterday, as one of their own, Barry O'Bama beat the Scotsman and was elected President. For those of you who are sad that Sarah the PILF (P for Politician) won't be winking at them from the centerfold of the Congressional Record, take another look at Jill the Trophy Wife -- spouse of Joe the VP. She even has long blonde hair, as opposed to the mousy brown locks of Sarah the PILF. Personally I'm thanking the heavens that I don't have to look at that grinning moron, Todd the Snowmobile Driver, anymore.
Reportedly, the biggest issues in the election were the O'conomy and the war in O'Raq. The public finally figured out that, given just one pot o'gold, the leprechauns in our government should spend $10 billion per month keeping Amercians safe from financially devasting illness and life-long student loan debt, rather than on keeping Iraqis safe from themselves. Clearly John the Anti-Sports Betting Republican was tooting his bagpipe while the USA went belly up.
Personally, I think the biggest problem for John the Loser and Sarah the PILF was their association with Joe the Unlicensed Tax-Evading Plumber. John and Sarah should have remembered that it was a bunch of unlicensed plumbers that brought Nixon down. As the old saying goes, "Those who don't learn from history, are doomed to be brought down by an unlicensed plumber again.
It was also a great day for O'merica. Only Ireland could produce two people as different as Matty O'Shea and Bill O'Reilly, but only in O'merican could they come together and bury their differences in a message of unification.
Among the important news events of the night, good Irishwoman O'prah's crying jag was only topped by the phony tears of Jesse Jackson. Amazingly, Jesse struck a pose for the cameras of tears running from his eyes, his mouth curled into a cry, and his index finger over his lips, which he actually managed to maintain without change for one entire hour beginning from the announcement of O'Bama the President Elect's win all the way through the acceptance speech. I guess Jesse figures that if crying could work for Hillary the Cuckolded. why not for him. There's a future in acting for Jesse. I kept wondering if he had hidden an o'nion in his pocket. Too bad he didn't realize that an Englishman named Jackson had no place on a night reserved for the Irish.
But the most important news flash of all --.the O'Bama girls will be getting a new puppy. AWWWWWWW. I'll bet it's an Irish Setter.
What could be better during this Erin Go Bragh celebration than a big POT O'GOLD WINNER
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