• HALL OF FAME GAME OF THE YEAR

    "A Tony Dungheap by any other name would smell as foul." - Rob "Shakespeare" Crowne, circa today from the play "Tonio and Zorniette." "It was the best of games, it was the worst of games." Charles Dickens Crowne, from a "Tale of Two QB's." Every handicapper...
  • TOP 10 SIGNS THE ECONOMY IS IN TROUBLE

    10 SIGNS THE ECONOMY IS IN TROUBLE 1. Your bank has stopped giving away toasters, and is now selling them. 2. When you move, your house sells for less than your dining room set. 3. Your mortgage company is offering you free gifts if you will just make...
  • MILLION STAR PLAY PLUS A BONUS

    As part of our continuing effort to teach you all the language of Tout Speak, here's another entry from Crowne's New World Dictionary of Tout Speak: "Million-Star Play" - adj. + adj. + n. phrase The tout started with a 1000-star play, and lost 10 in a...
  • TWOSDAY - FREE PICKS, A TRUE STORY, AND A SONG

    Once upon a time, Cockey Hockey was walking past the ice rink, when all of sudden . . . a puck smacked him right in the puss. Immediately, Cockey Hockey ran to Goosey Loosey's house and proclaimed, "Goosey Loosey you must come quick! The pucks are flying...
  • BAIL OUT NEWS FLASH

    While all those guys you should never have elected play politics with the economy and $700 Billion on the line, I'm starting a grass roots campaign. Forget about bail outs for Wall Street gamblers. I say, $700 Billon to bail out sports gamblers. In the...
  • WHY I WANT TO BE RICH

    DOUBLE HEADER - A POEM DOUBLE YOUR PLEASURE, DOUBLE YOUR FUN, GETTING HEAD FROM TWO IS BETTER THAN ONE. When I was young, a good friend and I would discuss why we wanted to be rich and how rich we wanted to be. The one reason to be rich that our mid-20...
  • FREE PICK FOR A BAD ECONOMY

    That leprachaun laddie, Barry O'Bama, gave his first press conference today, just 3 days after he won the election. That's not bad considering President Wimpy didn't hold his first press conference for 3 YEARS after he was elected, and then it was to...
  • SUPER BOWL POLITICAL PICKS

    The Pack are back. The team that played in, and won, the very first Super Bowl, and repeated in Super Bowl II, brings their socialist, share-the-wealth act back to the Championship game. Comedian Bill Mahr, in a recent monologue on his HBO weekly TV...
  • NEW FLASH: Rob Crowne Saves U.S.

    Can Sports Bettors REALLY Be That Stupid? This past weekend, sports tout extraordinaire, mentor of Brandon Lang, and subject of the movie "Two For the Money," Stu Feiner, announced on his compline that Vice President Joe Biden telephoned Stu personally...

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