Being in this business for 20 years I feel that it is my duty to help others that are striving to make it in this very competitive market in which we are in. Contained in this article will be all the weapons you need to make you a Big Shot but you are going to have to change some things if you have not already. Nobody has to know that you are handicapping daily while sitting at the coffee table in your den whoofing down Little Debbie Snack Cakes. Nobody has to know that your Day Job as a UPS Delivery Guy is the reason why you release your plays late in the day, after the last delivery. Only tell them what they need to know and you are well on your way to Big Money.
This is probably the most important aspect of being successful and if you don’t have the right name you are starting out on the wrong foot. Your actual name is probably boring and does not really mean anything. So, let’s get a better one. Italian names are the best because Italians are connected. You know what I mean. These guys have all the inside info and everyone knows that. Some of the best names have already been taken but still plenty of good one’s out there, like Rizzo, Lombardi, De Luca, Mancini, and Moretti. You don’t really have to be Italian but it does help to know a few Italian words. Your first name is even more important as it denotes something about you. One of the best is “Lefty” but once again you don’t really have to be lefthanded. However, it would be best that when in a public situation to pick up and eat your Little Debbie Snack Cakes with your lefthand. If that is not the way you want to go then I have some other ideas. The Word “Bookie” is always a good one. The Bookie Basher, Bookie Killer, Bookie Destroyer, Roll your Bookie, Hold The Bookie Down and Tickle Him, Force Feed Your Bookie with Little Debbie Snack Cakes. Please note that I am not sure if that last one will Google very well. However, I think you get the idea. The Best idea by far is to just be “Lefty Lombardi” of “Hold The Bookie Down and Tickle Him.” That should cover all of the bases.
This is so very important because it gives everything you do excitement and drives people to action. You must us Exclamation Points as often as possible. Multiple Exclamation Points are even better!!! Do you see how you gravitated to that last sentence. It works and it works big. Example: “I have a Nice Card tonight and one of those plays is a Big Game out West.” Wrong!! “Don’t Miss Tonight’s West Coast Bookie Destroyer!!!!” Now which pick are you going to buy? Some of the better Handicapping Services actually disable all forms of punctuation from their laptops so that the Exclamation Point is the only one they can use. You might want to check into that.
We have already covered some of this above but let’s put it to use. You can’t just pick games, you have to pick Bombs!! You have to have multiple Game of Years!! And you have to make sure your potential client knows that they are an idiot if they don’t buy your pick. Example: “Does a Freaking Nuclear Bomb have to go off on your Front Porch before you Realize that you need My West Coast Bookie Destroyer Game of Year Blowout!!!” Nobody wants a Nuclear Bomb to go off on their front porch do they? Of course not. If they don’t buy that, then there is no hope for that potential client and time to churn him and move on. It is important to note that Churning Clients is no real big deal. There are always plenty of Suckers out there willing to buy from a Guy named Lefty who uses exclamation points. And there is no reason to just have one Game of Year. Daily is always better and at least weekly. NFC GOY. AFC GOY. Monday Nite GOY. West Coast GOY. Big Ten GOY. North of the Equator GOY. Surely you can come up with 365 of these throughout the year and don’t stop there. Games of the Decade are even better and Games of the Century are just flat out Money in the Bank. And please, don’t forget those Exclamation Points!!!
I could probably do a 3 Day Seminar on how to improve your productivity but I will just point out some other ideas to get your Handicapping Services on the right path. Make sure to get on those Pre-Printed Rotation Schedules that come out in early August. This is where you can promote all of your GOY’s as they come out in the fall. This way as your potential clients turn the page on October 23rd, they will see your smiling face holding your Little Debbie Snack Cake in your lefthand, telling everyone about that Nuclear Bomb and the Big West Coast Bookie Destroyer Game of Year Blowout!!! And for God’s Sake, make your Biggest Plays on the Biggest Games. Nobody wants to bet Elon College. They want to bet The Dallas Cowboys. You know, the one’s on TV. It is important to note here that once you have Locked in a Client, you need to continue to Sell him. Yeah sure, he thought he bought all of your picks but wait!! You have just recieved, from one of your Italian Connections, a BIG INSIDER PLAY. This is not part of the regular package but for an additional $29.95 you can get it. Your Client is not going to argue with you. Nobody argues with a guy named Lefty (Insert Italian Name).
Your Must Have a Staff
Ok, this is a No Brainer here. One guy cannot operate his handicapping service effectively without a staff. Everyone knows that. Never say “I have isolated a HUGE INSIDER BIG WEST COAST BOOKIE DESTROYER GAME OF THE DECADE BLOWOUT. Always use WE because WE denotes a staff. People like the fact that your office is a busy place with other Lefthanded Italians running around, making phone calls, securing Fixes and such.
I hope that I made this simple enough that even a 4 Year Old Child could understand and I promise you that if you put these things in motion, you are going to reap the benefits. Hey, why not get a 4 Year Old Child to read this. You can make him part of your staff!! And the best thing is, he will probably work for just a couple of Little Debbie Snacks a day. And you already have those right?