OK, I looked over the menu several times and now I'm ready !
Start with the ChopHouse Onion Soup.
Order the 14 oz Rib Eye medium well. (Don't order those HUGE steaks - you really don't need that much red meat) Remember - less is more !
Lighten up the hoity-toity waiter by asking if he knows what a "Honeymoon Salad" is. Tell him it is "lettuce alone." Ha Ha !
Take along your nephew's infant. When it is time for the bill to come to the table - tell everyone the baby is making a fuss and you are taking him out to the lobby to settle him down. Watch your table from behind a plant and return after someone has paid the bill. You can't lose here - you will appear as the caring uncle.
Remember to NOT over tip ! Look at the subtotal and DO NOT include a tip for tax paid !
Enjoy your meal ! Remember to bring flowers for Mom !