One went to Northwestern... the other dropped out of high school
One gets drunk off 2 beers... the other drinks moonshine straight from the barrel
One has his hair meticulously combed every day... the other wears a dirty truckers hat on the regular
One bets underdogs with value... the other bets only chalk and does 3 team Teasers in college football
These 2 men can’t be any more different (except for their love of an all you can eat buffet)
Id love to see Fezzik vs Haystack at everything. For example
1. A Bowl Season Gambling contest
Fezzik -180 Haystack +160
Fezzik has to have the edge here, although Haystack can really sell me hard on all the favorites...
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2. A Push-Up contest
Fezzik -120 Haystack +100
Very close here...Even though Fezzik showed his strength during the bench press wager, Haystack is the type of guy who has that “drunk strength” and can barrel through 30-40 push ups before passing out
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3. A Wing Eating contest
Haystack -140 Fezzik +120
On paper, this is a tossup. I think ultimately Haystack has to be the favorite to pull away late though. I see Fezzik being too concerned about wiping his hands and face with the napkin while Haystack couldn’t care less and having his face and hands all dirty with wing sauce is totally his element
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4. A Pick-Up Contest at a bar
Haystack -330 Fezzik +270
Now this is just not fair. Haystack can charm the panties right off a chick with the way he talks. The same way he can convince you to lay 34.5 in CFB is the same way he can convince a chick to come back to his trailer...... Meanwhile, Fezzik is just weak in this department. First off, what’s the over under for Fezziks number of chicks he has slept with??? I’m saying 1.5.... Maybe 2U -130.... If this was a “bore a chick to death” contest at a bar, he’s a large favorite. Sorry Fezzik
I love me some Haystack