"A Tony Dungheap by any other name would smell as foul." - Rob "Shakespeare" Crowne, circa today from the play "Tonio and Zorniette.""It was the best of games, it was the worst of games." Charles Dickens Crowne, from a "Tale of Two QB's."Every handicapper and tout in creation has his Hall of Fame Game of the Year today. Can the line in this Hall of Fame Game be that far off? It can be, but it's NOT! All the Hall of Fame Games of the Year are about "Tout Speak.""Tout speak" is the very special language of handicappers, sports consultants and just plain touts throughout the land. Below is the "New Crowne Dictionary of Tout Speak" subcategory definition of "HALL OF FAME GAME OF THE YEAR" within the main category of "GAME OF THE YEAR."GAME OF THE YEAR, n. The best bet the game analyst will see all year. Denotes a pick of greater value than an ordinary selection, and for which bettors will pony up more money more easily. The term "Game of the Year" is usually modified by a another noun or nouns used as adjectives to describe a category and limit the general term Game of the Year. e.g. - Hall of Fame Game of the Year. -- HALL OF FAME GAME OF THE YEAR - A phrase in which the proper name, "Hall of Fame Game," is used to modify "Game of the Year." The "Hall of Fame Game of the Year" is the best bet the sports analyst will see in the Hall of Fame Game this year.
usage and etymology:As with all "Game of the Year" phrases, the term "Hall of Fame Game of the Year" connotes greater value than other selectioins. If further modified by the adjective "side" or the adjective "totals," the entire phrase means the best play on a side in the Hall of Fame Game or on the total in the Hall of Fame Game that the sports analyst will see all year. .
Since, however, there is only one Hall of Fame Game all Year, any play on it is the best play the analyst will see in the Hall of Fame Game this Year and therefore may be termed the "Hall of Fame Game of the Year."Historially, some people have thought such usage to be dishonest, but that ignores tout syllogistic logic when used to form the language of "tout speak." Consider the following logic string:There is only one Hall of Fame Game all year, The tout will have only one side play in the only Hall of Fame game, Ergo, the tout's only side play in the Hall of Fame Game is the best side play the tout will have in the category of Hall of Fame Side Plays. Now we take the logical conclusion above and use it as the basis for our second syllogism:The tout's only side play in the Hall of Fame Game is the best side play the tout will have in the category of Hall of Fame Side Plays. A Game of the Year is the best play that the tout will have this season in a given category,The Hall of Fame Side Play Game of the Year is the best play the tout will have all year in the category of Hall of Fame Side Plays.Ergo, a tout's only side play in the Hall of Fame Game must be the HALL OF FAME GAME OF THE YEAR!And finally we use the second logical conslusion to produce the third logical conslusion: A tout's only side play in the Hall of Fame game is the Hall of Fame Game of the Year, Games of the Year are more valuable than other selections,Ergo, all Hall of Fame Game single side selections are more valuable than other selections.See, the tout is being perfectly honest when he gives the customer the impression that his only side selection in the Hall of Fame Game is more valubale than other plays. It can be proven by syllogistic reasoning to be more valuable. A designation of Hall of Fame Game of the Year is also handy in cases in which the tout runs more than service under more than one name and hands out opposite sides on the Hall of Fame Game. In that case, the use of the term "Hall of Fame Game of the Year" becomes dishonest only if the tout uses it to describe both selections. If he uses it to describe only one of his two opposite sides, he is honestly designating to the public the side he likes best of the two he is selling.To give credit where credit is due, I did not formulate the above logic strings myself. They were taught to me by the head of one of those "protectors of the public interest" called sports monitors. Of course some of you may note that a tout's only pick in the Hall of Fame Game can also be his worst pick, but then it couldn't be his Game of the Year which is, by definiton his BEST pick, could it?When in Rome, etc., etc., etc. For MY 2008 HALL OF FAME GAME TOTAL OF THE YEAR CLICK HERE
Yes, Matty. The under was the worst Hall of Fame Game totals play I will see in the Hall of Fame Game this year. But don't forget, it was also the best Hall of Fame Game totals play.
I never understood Dickens before I became a sports analyst. Now all of that, "It was the best of times, it was the worst of times" stuff is absolutely clear.
Great stuff Rob. Too bad we both lost this one.
Crowne is hilarious. We need more writing from this guy.