An Englishman, a Scotsman, an Irishman, a Latvian, a Turk, an Aussie, a Yank, an Egyptian, a Jap, a Mexican, a Spaniard, a Greek, a Russian, an Estonian, a German, an Italian, a Pole, a Lithuanian, a Swede, a Finn, an Israeli, a Romanian, a Bulgarian, a Serb, a Czech, a Brazilian, a Canadian, an Argentinian, a Korean and a Swiss man walked into a pub.
The bouncer says “Sorry.. I can’t let you in without a Thai”.
“Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity.” – Seneca
I believe it's time to fly
Two men waiting at the Gates of Heaven strike up a conversation. “How’d you die?” the first man asks the second. “I froze to death,” says the second. “That’s awful,” says the first man. “How does it feel to freeze to death?” “It’s very uncomfortable at first,” says the second man. “You get the shakes, and you get pains in all your fingers and toes. But eventually, it’s a very calm way to go. You get numb and you kind of drift off, as if you’re sleeping. How about you, how did you die?” “I had a heart attack,” says the first man. “You see, I knew my wife was cheating on me, so one day I showed up at home unexpectedly. I ran up to the bedroom and found her alone, knitting. I ran down to the basement, but no one was hiding there either. I ran up to the second floor, but no one was hiding there either. I ran as fast as I could to the attic, and just as I got there, I had a massive heart attack and died.” The second man shakes his head. “That’s so ironic,” he says. “What do you mean?” asks the first man. “Well, If you had only stopped to look in the freezer, we’d both still be alive.
I Bet You Didn't See Godzilla
Pete and Joe are opening a store in the country. They’re sitting in the empty shop waiting for goods to be delivered. First one says to his partner "Bet you we have some nosey hick show up asking what we are selling."Sure enough within five minutes a local passerby sticks his head in the door." What are you guys selling in here? " he asked.Joe winks at Pete and replies "Assholes we're selling Assholes!" Without a moments hesitation the fellow shot back "Well business must be good, only two left".
Doughboy, u know I love those pics . My favorite is the one u showed me of eli drunk as hell and I told u I had a similar pick I would try and find. Good luck wit ur pool league player
" The Look of Eli "
Did you ever have sex that was so good......
you had to go home and tell your wife?