Three Pregamers, Toofdoc, Griff, and Razorbackfan were sitting at a bar. They started complaining how hard their lives were because of their deformities, which led to them arguing about who had it the worst.
Griff says, "I have the smallest feet in the world. My Mississippi inbreeding has led to my feet being so small I have to wear Oshkosh kids work boots and I get made fun of all the time."
The other two don't believe him. "Bullshit," Razor says, "I don't believe it."
"Look here," Griff states, as he pulls out the Guinness Book of World Records, "the smallest feet in the world: Griff."
"Yeah," Razor blurts out, "Well, I have the smallest hands in the world because the genetic isolation of Arkansas and the fact we produce the most rice of any state in America has led to our hands being small from working in the rice paddies."
Once again, the others disagree.
"Here you go," Razor says, "smallest hands in the world: Razorback Fan and danged if Arkansas isn't the leading rice producer....who knew?"
They continue to argue about whose smallest part is more worthy when Toofdoc says flatly, "I have the smallest di ck in the world."
The other two are astonished, if this is true, he surely wins the argument. Toof snatches the book to prove it to them and furiously flips through the pages. His confidence turns to anger.
"Who the hell is Philmustang!?"